Carousel

The smallest glance at him caused an uncontrollable depression, not a deep depression like you would feel if you lost someone dear to you but more like the feeling you get when you find yourself alone in a restaurant waiting for you friends or family to arrive. He stood there in line with a crowd of small children some with parents all excited to be on the next turn of the carrousel. He was probably in his early fifties, smartly dressed, well groomed and unmistakably alone. Standing in line with my own children I found myself compelled to figure out the motivation of this solitary man. As the horses slowed to a halt and the rush of happy children passed through the exit followed by the few stragglers that were ushered out by the two teenaged ride coordinators, we were given permission to mount the horses. I assisted my daughters to the horses of their choosing and watched the lonely man mount a horse near the outside of the platform. As the uplifting music began and the platform started to move the ponies started bouncing up and down and the sounds of joyous children filled the air, I stole a glance or was it a stare at the gentleman he slowly reached out without the slightest of emotion and grabbed at a small metal ring that was being dispensed, the rings were part of the thrill of the ride a rider who was mounted on the outside of the horse could grab a ring and toss it at a large clown face, if the rider was skilled enough he/she would be rewarded with a bright light on the clowns nose and a bell ringing. The man was skilled and I watched as his ring soared through the air flying right into the clown’s mouth causing the bell to ring and the nose to light up. He then slowly without emotion reached his hand up and waited a full revolution for his turn at another ring. I rode the carousel several times that day with my daughters and each time I saw the man riding alone grabbing the rings and tossing them. A few days later we returned for another day, but the man was not there, why was he there, and then all at once I picked up both of my daughters and hugged them dearly and though they have no idea why, I asked them never to let me ride the carousel alone.



STU - 2003