Awakening

I sat in silent contemplation, thoughts racing in my head.
I had just breathed in and let it out with a sigh.
Soaking in what had been said,
molding the words that had lifted me high.

It was then, that I awoke,
not that I was sleeping, a deeper awakening than that.
I was the reforming of the words you spoke,
The truth from within came welling up from where I sat.

I had been trying, it was so clear,
to unleash my inner rages
Yet it was difficult to surmount my fear,
but, , , what if it could happen in stages.

What if my torrential rain,
could come down one tear drop at a time.
to release the held back pain,
and cleanse my soul and ease my mind.

What if my love, held back so long,
could shine out ray by ray.
To glow from my body like a song,
and glimmer a bit every day.

And this is when I knew what to do,
my path became oh so clear.
Share my love, within anew,
releasing my pain, and sharing my cheer.

Today I have awoke,
because you got out of bed.
It was due to words you spoke,
and how I arranged them in my head.

Thank you so very much,
now that I have found a gentle way to share
For me, and all those I touch,
Thank you for the way you care.

STU 2012

Dedicated to The Center of Spiritual Living, and especially to Dr. Edward Viljoen

I am not alone

Fear not for me, I am not alone, I am here with others, with all who have come before me  and all who have yet to come .

Life is for a short time, but eternity is, by its very definition, forever.

I am forever now, and I am not alone.

It was my time to leave, though it may be hard for your to understand, please know it was my time.  Leaving as I did was my only choice, I left of my own free will, not to punish, not to hurt, not to do anything, but to move on.  please believe me, I am not alone.

I am a part of all creation, part of all that is, that was and that will be.  Do not pine your life away for me, rather change your tears from sadness, guilt, loss back into the feelings of joy, love, forgiveness and peace.

I am not forgotten, therefore I live on,

I am fee, and all I wish for you is to be free as well.

be free, love, learn, play find your destiny, remember me with fondness, kindness, love.

I am not alone, and never shall you be while my spirit dwells in your heart.

I love you,

Be free

STU - 2012

The perfect hand in cribbage

In the game of cribbage I have held the perfect hand,
Some of you may understand.

15-2, 15-4, through, 15-16 laying in a line,
a pair for 18, 20, up to 28, and the jack of suits makes 29.

A good hand indeed, but I have held better suit,
I know what you’re thinking, he is just being cute.
Cause nothing beats 4 5’s and a jack of suit,
and though your right, the point is mute.

The best hand I have ever held in cribbage, and this is true,
was the hand offered to me, by you.

In Loving Memory of My Brother Christopher Mathew Schimpf

-STU- 2012
-aka Johnny-

Love illustrated

Warm breath on my ear,

slow rythmic breathing,
soft tickle of her hair,
tender heart beating.
Warm, slow, soft, tender,

waking up alone together,
nothing better.

I am

we once stood tall, without a fear,
trusting, loving with all our heart,
then someone made us shed a tear,
ripping our esteem all apart.

Why do they do that, make us hurt
because their hurting too, dont you see.
Their remarks may be curt,
but it is about thier feelings, not you or me.

Stand tall, right now,
take a breath, deep and long,
bend right over and take a bow,
let out your breath and sing a song.

Celebrate who you are,
Not who others wish you to be,
the world grows inside not from afar,
take your cues from within, without the negativity

Every day afirm this vow,
I am smart, I am proud,
That is who I am now,
with these words dispell the cloud.

I am peace
I am love
I am giving
I am sharing
I am caring
I am whole
I am good enough, wait no, I am better than good enough,
I am great
I am kind
I am happy
I am exactly the kind of person I wish to be
I am glorious
I am amazing
I am funny
I am important
I am meaningful
I am me, and that is exactly who I want to be
I am powerful
I am strong
I am Beautiful, through and through
I am I am I am

Repeat these words every day
Let them settle in your heart
begin to seek, to find your way
because living is precious art.

John Stuart - 2011

Tending the garden

With tender care,
I touch the flower.
The blossom growing there,
expressing loves gentle shower.

I trim the bad,
and cherish the good.
Embrace the sad,
as one should.

And as you grow,
I am there for you.
I reap what you sow,
a treasure true.

I feed your needs,
and give you light.
your glowing reeds,
Oh what a sight.

I tend to the garden,
The garden of our love.
I need no parden,
your the hand to my glove.

Darkness

Despair has me in her grip,
And I shall not shall not slip,
though on a sinking ship,
and yet I will ride out this trip.

Useless, toiling, strangled,
my mind is oh so tangled,
my life is being dangled,
my direction crossword angled.

As I struggle in the mire,
my soul, it begins to tire,
Where is my desire,
to rage against the fire.

I am too young to die,
of this I do not lie,
I will not give up with a sigh,
and let the years idle by.

I feel utter despair,
lacking the ability to care,
gone is my will to share,
I seek, I seek, but know not where.

I am vulnerable, 
to its tugging on my mortal soul,
my heart feels dark as coal,
I am broken, who once was whole.

Insignificant, alone, worthless.

There must be something on the other side,
Oh lord please provide,