Phone Tree

I was ordering phone service and called to follow up on the order today. I got on one of those automated systems and the dialog went like this.

I see you are calling from 123-4567 is this the number you are calling about? Say Yes or No.
No
I am sorry, I did not get that please say Yes or No
No, it is not the f’ing number
I think you said No, Please say or key in the number you are calling about, or you can say I don’t have one
I don’t have one
I am sorry, I did not get that please say or key in the number you are calling about, or you can say I don’t have one
I don’t f’ing have one
Okay, you don’t have one, is this about a new service?
Yes
I am sorry, I did not get that , is this about a new service?
Yes, it is God Damn it
Okay, so I can direct you to the right department is this about a new or existing service request?
Existing f’ing service
I am sorry that department is now closed, please call back during regular business hours at …

See folks I have solved the phone tree problem, you have to be totally rude to the system and it works great.

STU 11/08