When your away

When your away, I try to cope.
It may seem to be that I am happy, but nope.

I keep my mind active, distracted
to you I am so attracted.

You seem to be aloof,
I consider repairing my roof.

You and I seem so disconnected,
but really we are so together,
We may feel dejected,
but when were alone were so forever.

Your smile is my everything,
You laughter my joy,

I am here loving you,
I am her missing you,

I am here love,

I am yours,

I
Love
You,

and to you I am true,

Together

I feel this strange feeling today,
it is a pulling from the center of my being.
What it is exactly I cannot say,
not one of the senses, not hearing or seing

Rather it is a tugging from within,
I feel it as it exacts its toll.
A deeper ripping there has never been,
The feeling of the ripping of my soul.

Come be with me my dear,
hold me, as is my lovers role.
Separate we shed a tear,
but together we are whole.

Vacation

The thing about being on vacation is that time really does not matter much, when someone asks what time is it you are prone to say, Tuesday or Lunch time. 

Cockroach Hunting

It is the dharma of a man to protect his loved ones, it is also the dharma to be the hunter for the tribe.  Never had my skills been put to the test before, yet when that first bugger crawled out of my shoe and scared my woman, it was on.  I grabbed the weapon of choice against such evil, the broom.  With her acting as my lookout, I was able to sweep it from behind the tv towards the door, only to my dismay it was now behind the door, and unlike our tiny versions in California, this bugger would not fit under the door.  Frantically I opened the door half way and like a skilled hockey player swept the bugger around the door and sent if flying over the front porch steps.  I had conquered, and my woman was safe, she came to me and gave me my reward.  Peels of laughter ensued, tears are welling inside me as I remember the tears of laughter we spilled that day.

Sea Turtles

The man pointed to a spot in the sand, John looked over and saw what looked like seaweed poking out of the sand, only upon closer inspection it was actually tiny flippers, the flippers of baby sea turtles.  He turned to look at her, She had a glow about her, a glow that he recognized as excitement, this was going to be  a night to remember.  The group of people were asked to make a line between the turtle nest and the shore, we did so in a sort of angled fashion.  it was only minutes before the tiny baby turtles began to launch their way forward towards the ocean.  The sight was amazing, such cute little babies not super well adapted for beach walking, skittering across the sand in search of the ocean, following the moons glow.


It is an amazing world we live in, truely amazing.  One evening we can see the most tiny of turtles, making their way to the ocean from their safe nest.  The way they skitter accross the sand and are thwarted by small rocks, sticks and even the footprints in the sand.  These turtles are only inches in size, and so cute you want to snatch one up and take it home for your aquarium.  But you don't, and later you are really glad you did not.  because your floating out on the bay, with a snorkel in your mouth watching the sea floor when you see it, a turtle, but not the baby size turtle you saw the night before, rather this is a huge turtle, it must be a hundred pounds, 3 feet in diameter at least.  It is feeding on the sea grass, enjoying a nice lunch as you float above it admiring its splendor.  The sea turtles are amazing the way they use their flippers to move from the sea bottom to the air that they need to breath for survival.  There is something to be said for watching the turtle surface, and moving you head above water to see the turtle grasp a breath of air, often repeating this a second time before dropping back down to forage on the sea floor.  This is an amazing animal, one that you could watch for hours hovering above it, being sure to be out of its path for air.  I have been told I do a good imitation of the way a turtle grasps it breath as it surfaces, but I am sure of this, I could never put into words the feelings you experience when you witness such and event.  I hope someday to return to this place, pehaps with my children so they can experience the sea, the sun and the joys of watching nature at its best along the sea floor. 

An evening on the beach

The beach was empty, not even a shadow of another human anywhere in sight.  The dark night was occasionally lit up by a long finger of lightening, followed after several seconds by the clap of thunder.  John was a little reluctant to pursue their evening activities so close to a thunder storm, but it did seem to be passing the cove by, working its way down the coast.  She was not as sensitive to the storm, and convinced him it would be alright, she had a way of making everything seem just a little safer, a little easier, just a bit more enjoyable so he went along with her, letting his fears melt into a gentle caution.  The wind was gentle, swaying trees and swishing waves were the only sound.  The moon reflected on the ocean, with the ripples of the waves breaking the otherwise pristine beam of light bouncing off the ocean.  He leaned in closely, their eyes locked with that sensual connection that must be felt to be recognized, but once it is felt the sight is unmistakable in the eyes staring back at you.  Their lips touched, softly they kissed as their arms wrapped around to form a firm embrace.  Time seemed to stand still, though the waves continued to crash to the shore, and the trees swayed in the breeze.  After what felt like a moment, yet was experienced as lifetime, the separated a little, leaving one arm holding on, they turned to wander slowly down the beach.

My Cup

I am an empty cup.
Love is what should fill me up.
I should be filled to the brim,
yet I sit in darkness, feeling grim.

 I learned early on,
to give the love that pushes on.
Sadly, as not enough was returned to me,
I feel alone and empty.

I give my love to all I know.
I give my love the way of a rivers flow.
I give my love out freely.
never does it return to fill me.

There are those who care,
and of who’s love I share.
Alas I never learned the skill,
of letting my cup fill.

Love surrounds me, like a cork afloat,
I bob upon it like a boat,
I see the love that is meant to be,
I wish I knew how to let it return to me.

To love unconditionally is a skill,
one that causes cups to fill,
to be loved this way is quite a gift,
one that can cause a shift.

To learn to let love fill your cup,
that is the skill that brings you up.
Though this skill is lost to me,
I have faith that I will someday be,
able to let love fill my soul,
 like warm milk in a bowl.

I want to feel complete,
alas this goal I cannot meet.
For I was never shown,
and now that I am grown,
it is difficult to learn,
no matter how I yearn,

I wish, I wish to let it in,
Give me strength, beyond what’s been.

Let me feel a trickle, a drip, a drop or two.
Let me know true loves dew. 

Let it dribble in my heart,
and saturate my every part.

I know you’re out there pouring love into me,
When I look I can see,
But to feel, to trust true loves flow,
that is what would let me grow.

Please do not give up on me,
I will learn to let it be,
to trust again, though it’s hard,
to heal where I am scarred.

I love to love, its plain to see,
Why is it so hard to let it seep into me?

STU 11/2010